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The Pastor and His Wife

(Ecc. 19 = 14 “A prudent wife is from the Lord”)

A. Courtship and Marriage

1. Over 50%, of his success depends upon his wife.
2. He must not fall in love from feeling, standpoint only, but must use reason.
3. She should be spiritual, educated, able to teach and to lead.

B. Her Character

1. She must be intensely spiritual Her life is also a ministry to the congregation.
2. She must complement his life. Where he is weak, she should be strong.
3. She should be content with change. She will have to be content in every state. A girl who is not satisfied under trying conditions will greatly hinder her husband. She will sometimes live in a suitcase. Wherever God leads – she must be contented.
4. She must be kind and hospitable. She must be able to put up with all types of people and love them in spite of their peculiarities. She must be able to stand criticism. She must entertain people and discuss their problems even at inconvenient times.
5. She must be consecrated

C. Her Duties in the Church

1. Preaching. She may be expected to preach.
2. Visitation. She should go with the pastor as much as possible, especially when calling on the younger ladies.
3. Advice. The girls and women are under her care. She must be able to advise them. They should feel that she is one of them.
4. Hostess. She will often be in charge of social affairs, showered receptions, etc.
5. Details. Should take care of any her husband may forget.
6. Programs. Major part in music, organize trios, choir, orchestra, etc.
7. Clothing. She will be an example of dress for the ladies in the congregation. She must be neat and clean, yet not too fashionable. It is better to be conservative in dress, but to have the best dressed soul in church. A woman on the platform is the target for many eyes. Her clot ‘ should be tasteful, but modest.
8. Decorations for the church. Carpets, curtains, etc.
9. Altar calls. Should be there to help young people with problems,- etc. Prayer meetings. Should help in all of these.
10. Weddings, Funerals. Help bride, etc. Be able to care for details.

D. Her Duties in Relation to Her Husband

1. She is to be his support in prayer. Private intercessor in service while her husband is preaching.
2. She can cripple or weaken his ministry by her attitude and conduct.
3. She should lavishly use the gift of encouragement on her husband This will be of great help on his “blue Mondays.”
4. She should advise and correct him, observing his sermons ane1 nervous habits, and wisely correcting him.
5. She has the gift of intuition. She hears what is going on and knows the feelings of the congregation.

E. Husband’s Relationship and Duties to His Wife

1. A man who lives in the public is not the same as other men. The church is often his main interest. Because his mind is of ten burdened with the woes of others, he will be tempted to’ neglect his wife. She must not let her own heart be hurt.
2. The ministers wife is sometimes lonely, Children also miss daddy who is gone so much to Board Meetings, etc.
3. She must be confided in. It is her church as well as his.
4. The minister should help in the home. He expects her help also. Other wives don’t have the strain and worries of pastor’s wife.
5. He should honour his wife in church. Folks expect it. If he never gives her flowers or candy, the young people notice it. Help her with coat, etc.
6. Should not, expect her to raise a large family and yet live an active public life without having help. Should help with children as
well as wife.
7. Should give time to her. She will be tempted to be jealous of women who call and always want to talk with him.

F. Her Difficulties

1. Often in poverty and need but must not beg. She must learn to be thrifty.
2. Sometimes she must play second fiddle and take a backseat position. She must let her husband succeed above her. His success is ultimately hers.
3. She an able substitute for her husband
4. She is not allowed intimate friends in the congregation.She must share her husband.

See Pastoral Theology